Hi felly
I've found the people at AA meetings alot like the people on this forum. Nobody gets through the door of their first meeting on a winning streak and they really do understand what it's like to be disappointed with themselves and life in general.
You might try going to an "open" meeting of AA and when asked just say your name or maybe something about investigating the program....don't know if it's for me....something like that. If it's a discussion meeting, such a statement usually leads into what got them there. When I hear people sharing their experience, strength and hope I know I'm not alone in the room.
It's a great feeling.....
I agree with comments above, don't be so hard on yourself, there's worse things then having social phobia. At meetings I find alot of people have the same fears that I do and it makes my shortcomings easier to confront when I'm not alone.
It's just really great to go to a place where I'm not expected to be perfect and learning that it's OK....I just try to get better one day at a time.
God's Peace