I can relate. My first reaction to big problems is denial. But, I have to work through this until I can accept them as they are, and then take some action. It is not easy to deal with life on life's terms sometimes, even when you've been clean for a while like me.
I have a 15-year-old son in high school now. This last year with him has been the most difficult year I have had since I've been clean. He has used drugs, had bad grades and attitude problems in school, been caught shoplifting, gotten lost, been kicked out of youth camp, been hospitalized for a serious accident he had as a result of drug use, punched holes in the walls of our house...
How do I deal with this? It is not easy! I worked the steps, go to meetings, talk to my sponsor, pray...I am trying to be hopeful and look at this as life lessons for him. I pray that he will one day grow up and become a decent human being.