(((offhegoes)))
I wish there was a magic answer to make all this make sense and give you a clear path. The best thing you can do right now, is start reading. Read the stickies at the top of this forum, read through past posts here - you will find lots of others dealing with Opiate Addicts (including me), but bottom-line, it doesn't matter what they're addicted to, the behaviors seem to be mostly the same. When you read more, you might find how even if you didn't know about the addiction you may have been living your life in a certain way to compensate. Codependent. Only you will be able to tell.
It is such a shock to find out. I found out about my AH's Codeine addiction 3 weeks after I wanted a divorce. Turns out it explains just about all the issues I had in our marriage, but it took months and months to get my head wrapped around so much. Take a deep breath, do things in your own time. Take care of you.
Codependent No More by Melodie Beattie is a recommended read around here, and IMO opinion the most helpful. I also liked Addict Thinking by Abraham Twerski. Others will have other recommendations.
Glad you found us here. Keep on reading, ask questions, post, etc. Also a major help to you might be to find some Alanon or Naranon meetings to have some face to face support with others who have been where you are now as well as being here.
Welcome. Happy to meet you but sorry for what brings you here.