Hey Lexus--
"So add that on and I'm a mess."
I read this and I almost spit out my tea-- because I recognize that feeling and my God, woman, all these trials and struggles you are describing - AND family court!!! Hell yeah - you're "something" but it ain't "a mess!!!" You're more like Atlas!!
What you're describing really is A LOT to handle.
You would be a strange person indeed (or a drug addict) if you were not allowing yourself to feel this as: a A LOT to handle. There is no cure for it except to continue to go through it like you have - cross each bridge as it comes - you can't solve it all in an instant, but you ARE stronger than all these problems.
I find an Alanon meeting helps when I'm overwhelmed. Or a 2 sided list - one side is TO DO: like, make a budget, start packing boxes, file papers at courthouse, forget manipulative ex-boyfriend, buy shampoo, etc!! The other side is GRATITUDE: like, I'm sane, I'm strong, I am free in this moment, I'm single, I have a dollar in my pocket, I feel genuine love for myself and at least one other person today!! whatever!
To Do Lists help me let go and make a plan that I can stick to just for today. Even if I only do one thing on my to do list it helps me feel better immediately. Gratitude lists just slow me way down, help me setlle, and hopefully give me some perspective.
Sending you beams of strength and courage--
and a prayer!
((HUGS))
Peace,
B.