I hear you there HideorSeek...I have always put everyone in my life first...drinking my problems away, instead of taking care of me...it's a difficult cycle to change. Now my kids are closed to being grown, and luckily they've learned that drinking sucks, and they dont want to be like their drunk mom...
I do agree that ultimatums suck, I received one again last week...he doesnt usually follow thru, but they make me feel unsupported...even though I know he's always enabled me, I dont like feeling pushed into a corner, and all it makes me want to do is drink even more!!
Good luck, and do what's best for you!!! because when it comes down to it, no one else can!!