Many times when they are only abstaining their actions and thinking is much like it would be if they were actively drinking. Unless working a program nothing really changes with their behavior.
My xabf would abstain to prove to me in his own little way that he didn't have a problem. During these "dry spells" he was actually worse off and a lot more verbally abusive to me. He would "act out" in other ways.
So really sobriety equals recovery and slowly the behavior changes. JMHO.