AbsentFriend,
Don't discount your own experience, bragi. I felt that way, too - "I didn't have it that bad, sure I felt nonexistent and worthless, but my feelings don't prove anything."
I totally relate to that sentiment. Thinking about it now, my mom basically did whatever she wanted, and nothing anyone else felt or wanted mattered.
This was confusingly covered up by her being very overbearing and overprotective, and thinking she knows better than you and second-guessing your decisions (she still does this now) -- so, as she goes to great lengths to verbalize, she is trying to be a good mother but she's failing and is "a loser" (she loves to trot that out). So that's what's confusing: It doesn't
seem like she's absent, and I'm just coming to terms with the fact that she was.
If anyone can turn what I've just said into wisdom about how she wasn't present, and how that affected me, please do! Thanks
