Help with what to do, just don't know
My addict partner left us, for that reason, it was all just using using using, all the things that junkies do. At first he kept in touch, ringing with hope in his heart, then the calls came further and further apart. Until Sunday, when I got a text from the brother, asking did I want to pass a message on, A had rung him that morning, and the brother was ringing him back the next day. I asked that he pass on the new phone no.s, and e-mail we have, then had a few drinks talking with his wife, pretending that I was fine with the situation, and I was over being ignored and rejected and my life is now really great.
I last spoke to my addict on a very bad day, school fees were to be paid, boring bills, and my job hours were also cut back - all on that day. So, I cried alot and told him he was coming across as an ********, not putting in for the kids, and not contacting us very often, his response..'next time I ring could you just lie and say that everything is allright'. Hmmm...That was 3 months ago, and since, no contact, except for the fines in the mail from the car he took which is rego'd in my name - they let me know he's not dead.
So, now I know he can ring his brother, so he could ring me - but is choosing not to. Thanks to all the wonderful people on this site recommending Melody Beattie's books, I've been able to read them and adopt new ways of living that are making me feel better and good. But, since sunday, I've checked all the message collectors in the house a billion times, whilst walking around questioning absoloutely everything about myself and the 10 year relationship that I had, but in a different way to when I made the decision to make myself healthy and strong and fit and gorgeous again.
Do I get the number and try and talk with my partner? Or do I just continue to let it go, and find better ways to deal with this all consuming sadness - suggestions welcome, I feel that there's nothing else I could do to feel better about this not talking to me business. I walk I juice, I clean, I talk, then the minute I stop, it's all just sadness, sadness sadness. I'm a bit lost again