Welcome Scrubbs, this is a good place to start. Talking about it really does start the healing process. Finding a good Alanon group would be a good step also. Hearing there stories helps to know that you are not alone.
Keep posting here, we're all here to listen.
Smoke, I have a question for you. Well more like I'd like to hear more about you Dad. You see my boyfriend is an actively drinking alcoholic. For the most part is fine. What I mean by that is that he has a very responsible position at work. He hardly ever misses work, maybe a day here and there. He works hard for his family. He totally adores our daughter, and is good to my daughters from my first marriage. He spends good quality time with our 5 yr old, reading, playing games, teaching her chess (which he's very good at), watching her favorite cartoons, on the computer with her. Just good quality time all around. He never hits her. We displine by time outs, some scoldings and stuff like that. He mostly just talks with her and that does the trick. They have such a good relationship, but poeple look at me as if I'm crazy when I tell them that, just because he's an alcoholic.
His disfunctional alcoholic behaviors mostly affect me. I don't mean that he's violent in any way, because he's not by any means. I think I just mean that his issues from his growing up and two failed marraiges, and my issues from childhood and one failed marriage tend to clash and we have arguments. Not alot, like most couples I imagine. But there are times that wish he didn't drink for obvious reasons, that he does get kind of difficult to "handle", and that might not be the best word for it but I don't know what else to call it, after he's been drinking all night. But for the most part we're ok. Others always have to give there opinion, which usually involves them telling me that I'm crazy for saying with him. I say why, life's not perfect and people are not perfect. He doesn't ever hurt me or our daughter, (outside of hurting my feelings once in while because he's so blunt with comments), but I don't seem to have any different relational problems that other couples have in their relationships. And our daughter doesn't seem to have any unhealthy emotional scaring going on. I just wish others would stop telling me I should move on instead of trying to work out differences/issues. I admire his being responsible and loving enough to stay and raise his daughter when he could have just walked. I could have taken care of her on my own, I'm not affraid to do that at all. But it's nice to have a family unit.
well that's all, lol. thanks for listening.
Pony