Hi: Yall I don't know were to star, but all I could say is that "I'm Hurting inside so Bad," It's taken my last energy. It's my Brother in-Law, I can't take it no more, I cant stand him, God forgive me I hating so Bad, to the point I wish he was Dead,(I'm just expressing what I'm feeling no need to Alarm!)Hes done it again try to sabotage everything me and my Husband work so hard for, Its like he Ain't got a life so he sprawls on peoples life, me and my husband join this small community church about 3 months ago, he decide to visit the church cause my Husband well tell him how good it is and he star it coming, O.K. he is Bipolar takes klanopin, and other medication, but he abuses from them just to feel hide today you could tell he wasn't his useful self me, and my husband, trying to listen to the service and he is talking behind our back, (he was sitting behind us)Remind you I suffer from anxiety, and PT- SD,ADD,I'm Bipolar Maniac level one, I think I don't even know, and he keeps pulling my husband to talk to answer him questions, and the service It's going on I felt Like I want it the Earth to swallow me, then my Husband got fed up lost all sense of reality and snap at his Brother telling him to wait until the service it's over, and his brother cough a five year old tantrum and forgot that we where in church,and they Both star it going at it, hes brother It's not that much Spiritual, my Husband, It's tender him self, I felt like I fail God, cause I, instead of Been more Spiritual, and Wiser, I let him get the Best of Me to, the Hall Church notice what when on,the Pastor and his Wife, Talk to My Husband, and I Like we no better, and to His Brother was like we Have to Understand Him and ask him for forgiveness, Man It was the hardest thing I ever did because I know deep down inside he was wrong, and he knows what he is doing, he could never see his brother growing, achieving Goals, and been prospered, everything his Brother Has he wants it to, I'm to the point that I began to Hate Him, I can't stand Him, Please God forgive me, then in the other hand I'm so Sad because I felt God, didn't Pass the Grade Level of Spirituality, I felt Him in every sense, accept getting high, or Drinking, but I did Smoke a cigarette, so I'm afraid cause this Attack from the Pitts of Hell, It was to knock me, and my Husband, from our Journey to Sobriety & Spirituality, I been all night just Having the fckess!Like I just Want to drink, my Load Got to Heavy on me, and I know God doesn't Give us enough baggages that we cant Handle, But I just Can't seem to grow in that area of Forgiveness specially when the Person is Wrong, then I got Anger issues man I'm exhausted,I'm embarrassed I don't even want to go to church any more,Please Help Me Anybody some Body I need some advice.
