I can reply to this from both sides of the fence.

I lost my little sister,who was only 26 years old by the way, in 1991 due to alcoholism. She died of cirrohsis of the liver. Her Dr.'s told her that unless she stopped drinking, it would kill her. I think her thoughts, as well as those close to her, was that she was too young, it would never happen to her.

I felt a great deal of guilt when she died. I was the first one who got her high and that she drank with. I thought it was my fault.

I used this guilt as part of the reason that I continued on my downward spiral of addiction. I buried my little sister as a result of this disease however, it was so strong, so controlling and all consuming that I couldn't stop.

I have been clean and sober and in recovery for exactly 1000 days today and I can honestly say that the guilt and shame I felt is gone. I know it was not my fault. Nor is it yours. You seemed to care a great deal for this man, but there is nothing you could have said or done that would have changed the outcome.

I hope you will continue to post and not only share with us how you are doing, but read other threads and posts as well. There is a great deal of love, strength and encouragement here on SR.

Also, many communities have support groups for those who have lost loved ones. Also, Alanon would be of benefit to you as well. It's not on how to help the alcoholic as many think, it's about helping yourself.

God Bless,
Judy