What a GREAT "Aha Moment!"
Some folks call them a "God Shot."
That is growth!!!!! Stay in it. One of the things that helped me tremendously with Step 2, first while working that Step in AA and then reworking that Step in Alanon. In order to understand the word Sanity, I had to understand the word INSANITY:
The repetition of the same act or actions...............................expecting different results. Boy did I do that a lot.
So, I took out the eraser and erased every last insane word that I put down on paper.
Now that is growth!! Please keep posting, your experiences can be so helpful to others. I know, I still keep coming to this site and others to read ES&H like yours.
Thank you for sharing your "aha moment."
Love and hugs,