Theresa,
I have also felt that fear that my husband will kill someone and the police will come and I will loose everything I own along with my sanity. It is good that you get some assistance from a counselor because your situation would cause anyone to be in crisis. When my husband dropped his $19K Harley twice on the way home from a bar a few weeks ago, I asked him to move out of the house and go to his parents in a different state. He agreed. Since then he has quit drinking and moved back into the house. But I am afraid he will relapse because he is not in a recovery program. So I am not far from where you are, if he starts drinking again. I will tell you another thought I had that I am not proud of: I thought that at least if he drove the Harley to a bar, it was more likely that he would be killed than him killing someone else. So I do understand this fear. But you know what? Even if he did kill someone and all the negitive stuff that would result - it is still not about you. You only have responsibility for you - you don't have to make sure that he acts appropriately. Remember to take deep breaths, this does help me to calm myself when the fear grows too big. It also helps me to talk to myself. Like: This is not about you. Everything will be ok. etc. Like I was talking to my child. It sounds silly but works for me. I will pray for you and hope you keep coming back to this board. It has helped me a great deal.