Hello everyone,
Thanks for all these massively helpful posts. I took your advice - and it worked a treat. I didn't drink last night. I feel happy and relieved today - all thanks to you.
I did the following 5 things when I got home from work yesterday:
1) I drank a huge amount of fruit juice (thanks for this tip Warren and mle-sober). My favourite was to take a champagne flute and fill it with one third pink grapefruit juice and two thirds sparkling mineral water - a weird concoction but it was cold, bubbly and bitter and seemed to distract my crazy mind away from thoughts of a cold beer.
2) I had a reasonably substantial meal soon after getting in from work, so that, even if I wanted to drink, I would be too full up with food.
3) I tried to do some spring cleaning in my mind and change my thoughts (thanks for this 1963comet and mle-sober - this is a super point). In particular I kept saying to myself: "I hate alcohol. Yes, I do. I really hate this stuff. It is revolting." And I tried to fill my mind with other thoughts, such as "I love grapefruit juice! Yes, I do, I simply love it. Oooooo, yummy."
4) I kept thinking about all the things I would lose if I had that first drink (thanks for this great point Warren). I'm on the longest run of alcohol-free days since about 1996 (today is my thirteenth day) and I didn't want to mess that up...
5) I took myself off to bed quite early and curled up listening to some relaxing music.
I realise now (and it's taken me a while) that I will never get to a "summit" where I can say I'm cured of my alcoholism (thanks for this, Stone). Instead, I guess I need to view each day as a new opportunity to explore how wonderful living sober can be.
I got a bit "casual" in the last few days about my AA meetings - when the cravings seemed to disappear last week I didn't think it was so vital to attend. But I now realise I have to attend for the long-term - thanks for the reminders. Yesterday really scared me, I came very close to another relapse.
Thanks, everyone, for helping me through my "wobble" yesterday. I couldn't have coped without all your support.
PB
:praying