Hello, HideorSeek - you and I sound almost exactly alike. I don't go to AA either, probably should - but this is my AA for now, and it has worked miracles for me. Just knowing someone understands and that we aren't alone is so comforting! I'm like you - I'm the only alcoholic I know - and being "older" that's really strange. Therefore, no one really "gets me" and they give all sorts of inappropriate advice to try and help or steer me in the right direction *sigh*. So glad you found us.