Maria,
Most of my enabling actions, which actually supported his drug use....I did to make myself feel better & less afraid for him. I actually thought that my taking care of his needs might make him want to stop using and live a normal life.
That didn't work out too well. He got worse and I got worse too. Once the consequences fell on him....he became more than ready to change his life.
He's clean now (2 years) and never wants to go back.
It wasn't always easy, but I learned how to live better by going to Alanon and coming here to SR.
Our lives became more peaceful even while he was still active in his disease, and what I learn about myself by going to Alanon helps me in more ways than I can count.