Marial

Hi everyone - this is my first post on this website. For the past week or so I have been reading different post on this site and I must say that I find many of them inspirational. Reading "What Addicts Do" and "Let Them Fall" reaffirms my belief that the only option for my son, who has been a drug addict for some time, is that he must go to jail.
My son was a difficult child to raise starting in early adolescence. During his teen years he was always getting into trouble (nothing serious) and constantly stretching rules and boundries set by us, his teachers and even authorities. We tried to get him help but he always rebelled and finally by the time he graduated from HS we were exhausted by our efforts.
I'm not sure when he starting using drugs - probably in his late teens. I could write volumes on his behaivor. Don't get me wrong despite what I am writing he does have some great qualities (when he isn't high). To make a real long story short in 03 (he was 23) we knew he was addicted to pain killers (he got them from a doctor after injuring his shoulder) and we got him help. We thought he was going to change he decided to go back to school - on his own and we thought he was finally seeing the light. My husband went into his room looking for a pair his socks that he thought got mixed up in our sons laundry and found used baggies of heroin and needles. We confronted him - we asked him not to bring a certain person who we knew was an addict into our house. He didn't listen to us - and while he was high and with this "friend" he accidently backed into our older sons car. Extremely angry and sick of everything we threw him out of the house. We thought "tough love" would change him.
In Jan 04 he broke into our house and stole 7 of my husbands guns - he did this to suppot his habit. We called the police and he was arrested. We didn't want him to go to jail and it seemed that he sincerely wanted to change after the arrest. He worked with the ATF - helped them bust 5 local drug dealers. In Feb 06 he appeared in court (flunked a drug test the first time he appeared before the judge and spent a week in the county jail). He got 5 years of probation. We thought that being on probation he would be mandated to rehab and behave to randomly drug tested and prove that he was changing his lifestyle. Well probation did nothing - after a while he figured he beat the system and continued on his way. (BTW we did forgive him for all of this and for stealing money, jewlery and other valuables from us through the years - but we wouldn't let him move back into our house.)
In Sept 06 he came to us (very convincing and sincere) wanting to change his life. He was living with a girl - who is the poster child of enablers - she doesn't use drugs but her father was a drug/ETOH abuser. We allowed him to move in with us and he went to a 30 day rehab. After rehab he seemed better going to NA meetings getting a sponsor. We supported him, got him a used car and he finally got a job. For a couple of months everything seemed okay but by Jan 07 we knew he was back on drugs. I found my prescription of Klonipin missing and we knew by his behaivor things were bad. He moved back with the gf - went to rehab again in Sept 07 but he never really changed anything afte that rehab stint. He has never had a job more than a month or two. Didn't go to NA meetings and spent most of his day going to the methodone clinic and buying (legally or illegally we don't know). Last Christmas he told my husband he was off of the methodone - which we now know was a lie - one of the many lies that he has told us over the years.
A couple of weekends ago his gf called us she was afraid he was going to overdose on Xanax. He again lost another job (stealing DVD's from a store he cleaned at night) - and she said that they didn't have any money - he blew his last paycheck on drugs. We filed a 302 commitment on him (they only kept him for 4 days) and we start calling the probation department. While he was in the hospital he called my husband a couple of times and threatened to kill him and burn the house down. He was extremely angry because we stopped him from abusing the Xanax like he wanted.
The legal system reissued an arrest warrant - he is now in jail and will probably have to be there for some time. The person who issued the arrest warrant told me (while I was crying on the phone) "would you rather visit him in jail or at his grave."
He is now 27 - he has alienated his friends, his brother and sister and put us through H*LL for many many years. His 10 year graduation reunion is being planned for this July near our house - I see the announcement when I drive by. He has wasted so many years of his life and it makes me both sad and very angry at him. He has had so many chances yet he never has changed - he has never hit his own personal rock bottom.

Sorry for the long post - how am I going to deal with the possibility of a long jail term and will he ever change?

Maria