Least,
G*D has not forsaken you...
In fact, reconnecting with your spirituality could be one of the best things you could do for yourself right now.
I know when I take care of myself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, I do my best.
What are you doing for yourself, to make yourself feel better?
It is going to take some time to undo the damage of drinking heavily while you were being treated for bipolar disorder. Alcohol and meds don't work together. Alcohol undoes all the benefits of the medication. So, it's like not taking anything. It's a washout. Remember when you first started taking meds? It took some time for them to start working, right? It's going to take some clean time to feel better again. And some work on your part.
So, what one positive thing are you willing to do for yourself today?
Start small, and work up. I *know* it's hard!
And we are here for you.
Splendra had a good idea to check with your doctor too. Is your doc aware of the extent of your drinking? If no, s/he should be. There may be somethings that we, here on SR, are not aware of. We are not medical people, but, support people. You should check with the doctor, ok? That *could* be your start!
Shalom!