We need to learn to identify what both people really want and need and the different possibilities for working that out. We can learn to be flexible without being too flexible. Committed, intimate relationships mean two people are learning to work together through their problems and conflicts in ways that work in both people's best interest.
Today I examine all my relationships, with friends, family, work, and if the relationship is not a give and take on both parts, if I do not feel any joy and gratitude from a relationship, then it is not up to me to change the unwilling participant but to change myself.
Recovery has given me the gift to select those relationships that are healthy in my life and to discard with love those that are toxic. I am not alive today to spend my life in conflict with those who don't contribute as much as they take, I am not alive to expend all my energy trying to get something from someone who has nothing to give.
What a relief it has been to align my life with positive people, positive energy and to step out of the darkness of codependency and into the light of recovery.
Hugs