Hi, Least,
And welcome to the MH forum of SR!
I'm sorry to hear that things are so hard right now. It's important that you stop drinking in order to overcome this serious depression. While many times alcohol is used to self medicate, it's a double edged sword. Soon, the alcohol feeds the depression and makes it worse. Even when there's medication. Because alcohol is a depressant, any antidepressant you take won't be fully effective. It's like taking nothing. So, the depression goes full force, and can get worse. If you want to get better, it's important that you stop drinking. You'll find things will begin to get better. Hard as that sounds right now, it's true.
Have you seen the doctor for meds? Are you going to AA or any other recovery program? Support is vital in the beginning, as you learn new ways of living without alcohol. And counseling with medication is known to be the most effective treatment.
I look forward to getting to know you as we both work on our recovery.
Shalom!