(((Katie)))
When we addicts are active, we will do whatever we can think of to throw the heat off of us. He is being vindictive because he's mad that he's having to face consequences. It's an immature response....like when a child throws a temper tantrum because they're told "no". Unfortunately, he knows how to push the buttons in you that hurt the worst.
As far as your husband, I don't have any advice...never been in that situation, but those above me have given some good answers.
Take a deep breath, and take care of you. You can't control what anyone else does, but you can control what you do...and doing what's best for YOU is always right.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy