Hi and welcome. You know you can always go to the meetings and listen rather than share your story. Also, if you are connected to a church or synagogue, you can speak to a minister or Rabbi for counseling. Many cities and states have abuse hotlines and I'm sure they could give you direction to counseling resources in your area. If you fear for your safety and you children's, speaking to the police and a lawyer would be in order to get a protective/restraining order.