fluffy,
I know what the panic feels like.. to not want to have to "suffer" withdrawls and cravings and to have to work for this. I can almost hear the panic in your words. I have been living that same nightmare for the last year. I have done the same things as far as rationalizing why I continued to take the med, why I medically needed it, why why why. And how scared I was to go thru w/d and didn't want to crave. Basically.. without being non-compassionate which I am totally NOT I am a very understanding person.. I have to say this. Nothing comes for free.. nothing comes without work and some degree of pain. We are addicts. In no uncertain terms for whatever reason we did this to ourselves. yes we all have our own stories and reasons, but ultimately the one shoving the pills in or the needle in is staring us in the mirror everyday. So why do we deserve to do this painlessly? I personally feel I deserved to get my a** kicked for this. And going throu the w/d do just that. It brings us out stronger and hopefully more Pi**ed in the end to fight this addiction even more. It seems to me and just my opinion of course that u are letting fear run this for you. And indeed money is an issue sometimes, but in the end isn't it about sobriety? And stopping the addiction. I won't even go into the damage you are causing by snorting anything but fresh ocean saline up your nose can do. You should be focusing on taking the treatment you can get... taking it exactly like your doctor wants you to and getting clean. I only say this cause this is a tape I have played in my own player for a long long time. sorry.. stepping off the box now..
Kari