Trish that is awesome, you keep trying, we have a gal in the rooms in my area who refers to herself as the Queen of relapse! She spent like 5 years in and out of the rooms, she said every time she started to feel better, her disease would convince her that this time it would be different!!!
Well last month she celebrated 1 1/2 years sober & clean!!!!! She had finally had enough! She said she was sitting there drinking a beer and had a moment of clarity, she said that her life was in the crapper and she suddenly realized that it was never going to get any better as long as she kept drinking and drugging, it was always going to get worse just like it had every time she relapsed before. Did I mention that some time in the next couple of weeks she will be having her first child and that child will be born totally alcohol and drug free!!!!
Every one of us has to drink/drug enough to get our fill, it took me 40 years to get full, people smarter then me get full years earlier, some of us do not have enough ever and wind up 6 foot under.
Keep up the good work Trish, we are all here for you.