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Old 03-29-2008, 10:24 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
sosantney
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: belmar. nj
Posts: 11
Thank you all for your responses, and since I've posted that I started to consider why I had a resentment. As a reply posted earlier

"for example: there's a girl in the rooms here who shares for at least 10 minutes about her experience, etc. every time she gets the chance. i resent that fully, but i resent it mostly because i can see myself doing that, or i am afraid that i come across that way to others."

I relate to that for a couple different reasons. Sometimes I feel like I'm trying to prove my recovery and I think I blame other people saying thats how other people in AA make you feel. Then I realized that I am on a 4th step with a new sponsor, and that not all people are like that, I'm just focusing on the people that are like that. Also I have a friend whose theory of recovery isn't necessarily a positive one. I go to a lot of meetings with him and I feel like it reflects my recovery and that I feel the need to defend him to some extent. I spent so much time complaining that it was AA in my area since I had a different experience when I was in PA, but I was also in a much different place in my recovery when I was in PA. What I posted earlier about who Alcohol is a drug and should be treated like a drug. Tonight I realized why there is two fellowships. People need to identify to there experience and the common welfare of the group is more important. I think I just need to have a more positive attitude and remember how I got into recovery in the first place. I sure as hell didn't have any resentments when I walked in the door, I was just grateful that I wasn't where I just was. A gratitude list! A Higher power, the 12 steps, and a positive attitude would probably work to my advantage.
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