Look how good you have been to her and she still calls you names and disrespects you. In other words, you have no power over how she will act towards you. At Christmas time my daughter and I were getting along fine and when she did not contact me for 6 weeks after that I contacted her. She told me that she did not think that we were getting along. Now I had bent over backwards to be a great mom during the holidays. That was when it hit me that how I acted towards her had nothing to do with how she acted towards me. Maybe that works with normal people, but it don't mean sh*t to addicts
So I realized that I needed to get on with the process of grieving what was no more and finally take that final step of letting go. It hurts me to see my daughter, it hurts me to not see her. It hurts me to talk to my daughter, it hurts me not to. I just had to realize which way hurt the most. And I think that you are starting to see that trying to stand in their way when they are hellbent on destruction does not work. But you had to try and that is okay. Now start taking care of you and let her have the dignity to do the same. Hugs, Marle
p.s. I think sometimes we hold on past the time we should let go because we are so afraid that letting go will mean never seeing them again. We accept bad behavior because it is better than no behavior.