I have to separate the alcoholism/addiction from the person I love.
My mom is an alcoholic. Drunk, she was sloppy... in ways that are difficult to describe - personally unhygenic, filthy housekeeping, abominable living conditions, horrid clothing and bedding...
She was an embarrassment. She was nasty. She was senseless. She was immoral. I HATED that person.
Sober... she is one of the loveliest, kindest, sharpest, prettiest little pistols you'd ever want to meet.
In my mind, those are two separate people.
Just as an example, he'll call me at 4 in the morning sometimes and tell me the same story 6 times in one conversation. After the third or fourth time I keep saying, 'Yes I know, you told me that 3 times already. You just told me that. Yes I know.' It's like a broken record. I'll start to finish the story for him so he knows I've heard it, and he just agrees with me and finishes the story, then
Mine did this... and I reacted as you do.... trying to REASON with alcohol. What I have since learned (through dealing with my meth-addicted daughter) is that I have the RIGHT and RESPONSIBILITY to not listen to that stuff. I can kindly say, I hear you... good talking to you... I'll talk to you tomorrow....
Talking over the top of whatever they are saying.
And hang up.
And take the phone off the hook.
That is NOT mean. That is a boundary. And you have the right to that boundary. And a responsibility to the alcoholic to SHOW them your boundaries... every time.
Loving hugs (((hugs)))