threeforty22;
Rambling about it is a good thing. you make perfect sense in your posts. i always re-read my posts and gain so much clarity in my thoughts by that.
so keep at it.
Living in the same house with your mom and dad with this HUGE elephant in the room is going to make you insanely crazy and a blow-up is around the corner for someone. this is the insanity of it all.
I "think" your dad will keep coming to you looking for: absolution, sympathy, care-taking etc.. until you set up that boundary with him. I am afraid he's going to keep seeking you out.( maybe it's worked for him in the past?)
If he keeps seeking you out, you are going to have to set up a boundary from that emotional garbage he is dumping on you. Tell him "you are not going to talk to him about it. He needs to work this out on his own." If he apologizes just say, " I don't need an apology. Get some help dad" . When he wants to talk about it you can say. "I can't help you with your alcohol or Meth problem Dad you need to talk to someone who does." You can tell him that you need your space from this. And then if he doesn't honor this you will have to separate yourself physically from it. Just hiding in your room and not stating these feelings allows them to continue their denial. you think the action is obvious. Addicts can't see things that way.
Again, I think you need at least your mom's help with this. no matter how weak you think she is, she is the wife and you are the daughter.
you are taking on a lot of other people's emotional needs which they should be turning elsewhere for. ( especially to themselves). and until you stop taking on this role they have no incentive to look elsewhere.
We have a saying here ," If you keep doing what you always do, you'll keep getting what you always get". "nothing changes if nothing changes" And you can only change yourself, and your reactions ,and your boundaries.
Believe me, you are in as much crisis in your brain as they are.
Still praying for you all.:praying