Welcome, this is a good place to vent....post away! Warrens mentioned boundaries. I think its important for you to do this. Tell your father you won't talk to him on the phone like that anymore. It seems to only frustrate you, so don't do it. Hang up on him if you have to. You need to make decisions that will make you feel better. I do feel that its good that you know now, and can talk to your mom about it. My stepson and I have a much better relationship now that we can talk openly about his dad, even if it is painful sometimes.
Good thoughts and prayers for you.