Thanks for the messages so far everyone. I didn't know I was going to get responses so quickly. I can't say I feel any better, but I don't guess that's the point. There's no magic phrase that's going to calm me down or cure my insomnia right now.
It's just really a complicated situation. I'm sure every situation like this is way deeper than surface level, and yes I was definitely angry when I wrote the post, and I still am.. but I don't hate my dad. I'm just fed up. The alcohol was bad enough. I don't know the amount, but he still drinks up to a half of the 20 dollar bottle of 151 every day. Adding this on top of it just really makes me sick. My mind is in a pretty negative place right now, so it's possible my thoughts are a little skewed, but it just seems like any option I take will lead to drama and ugly consequences. Especially telling my mother about it.
Like I said before, his mind just isn't there anymore. Just as an example, he'll call me at 4 in the morning sometimes and tell me the same story 6 times in one conversation. After the third or fourth time I keep saying, 'Yes I know, you told me that 3 times already. You just told me that. Yes I know.' It's like a broken record. I'll start to finish the story for him so he knows I've heard it, and he just agrees with me and finishes the story, then laughs about it or whatever reaction the story would induce, then starts to tell me again. All the while I'm just uncomfortable and wishing I wasn't on the phone with my dad at 4 in the morning. Then other times he asks why I sound like I'm irritated when he talks to me, like he feels like he did nothing wrong.
I don't know. It just sucks. I'm sure you all understand. Thanks for the kind words.