Three
You are in a good place. I'm a recovering alcoholic with 3 grown kids who love and support me. I'm doing very well and so are they.
You have taken a giant step by writing here. Your post is filled with anger and lack of understanding. You hurt badly. You can never recover the years lost to your Dad's addiction.
What you are doing is completely normal. It is necessary. It is even healthy, I think. You have a right to be angry.
The path you have in front of you has many forks that you may take. One leads completely away. Some take that and it is understandable. There are other forks, however. They can lead to wholeness and acceptance.
You may never understand. I tell my family that I thank god that they don't understand. Only addicts who go through recovery can understand. What I hope from them is acceptance. Acceptance that I was dealing with something that was greater than I, and while in it's grip, left me with no choice.
I hope that you continue to post and exchange here. There is much wisdom and shared knowledge. Also a lot of pain. And people deal with it in many ways. But there are some incredible success stories. Restored people and restored relationships. It can happen.
I won't attempt to guess why your Dad told you what he did. I don't think it was to hurt you, however. It may well be an attempt to reach out. The addict suffers from far more than a substance. Shame, guilt, regret, etc are potentially more damaging than the drug. Unless he can deal with those, I don't think he will ever recover. Only if you as a family confront this together can there be a pleasant outcome. I won't say happy, just pleasant.
I hope you continue to seek support and understanding.
warrens