i'm the mom of an alcoholic/addict, vtsister - my daughter is 23. it never works when we allow her to live at home and/or give her financial support. it just prolongs her "bottom" and causes stress in the family. i know it's hard to let go, but it's the best thing to do, imo.
easier said than done, though. i sure understand that.
alanon is a big help to my husband and i. we also get some private counseling.
take care of you. hugs, k