I didn't get any help until people stopped propping me up.
And I am a really nice and cordial guy (ie don't cause a lot of obvious problems).
The problems I did create: distrust, worry, etc etc...
The friends and family folk probably have a lot of practical advice for you. Life doesn't need to be like this, and you don't have to be the bad sister - that doesn't mean that you can continue to ignore the pain that you are going through.
All the best.