Well, you pretty much already answered your own question: you told him the price he’d pay if he used again would be you and the kids… and he went out and used anyway.
I think the most painful hurdle to get over isn’t that we’ve lost someone we love. The painful hurdle is realizing we got duped into loving an *idea* of who they wanted us to believe they are. Had you been living with him, or had known him longer than a year, you would have come to know exactly who he really is, and he would have become unrecognizable to you. Just imagine how he would be seen by your kids!
With binge or cyclic users, we are nothing but a diversion until the addict has the compulsion to use. Then when the compulsion and obsession of the drug has taken hold of them, they will chose the drug over us *every single time* unless they have gotten 100% pro-active in recovery. And recovery requires far more dedication and commitment from the addict than just hitting meetings or therapists. In early recovery, this dedication and commitment needs to be addressed on a minute to minute basis a lot of the time. Tough, tough work.
For me, as is true for anyone else who loved an addict, I so wanted to believe when I dumped him, he’d just wake-up as if out of some sleep, and realize he lost the best thing ever. For a while he made it *seem* as though that was the case, but it wasn’t. He used the better part of the next few months and jumped from chick to chick, which was his pattern before me.
So, rather than wondering what he’s going to do, love up you children and thank what ever angel is hanging over you that you are free from the hell he was most certainly going to put you through.