Well, I would love to be able to say I did it...but that wouldn't be true. He showed about 7:30 Tuesday night and knew that I was upset, but of course, had no clue why. He cooked dinner, helping my son cut vegetables. I didn't want to discuss anything with him until the little stinker was asleep, so we watched a movie.
Then, I let him have it. We have discussed his love affair with Mary Jane before, but since little miss codependent was so accepting of him, I never let him know just how bad I felt...wouldn't want to hurt his feelings, right?
I didn't hold back, I didn't sugar coat a thing. I let him know just how bad it feels that my best friend would rather spend time with a plant than with me. I told him that I've had enough, that I can't do it again. He didn't make excuses, he didn't beg or plead. He did cry a little and then almost raised his voice at me asking how I could let him treat me that way for more than 2 years and not leave before. He wanted to know why I didn't tell him how his drug use made me feel before and claimed he had no idea it affected me so deeply.
Anyway, I guess all I really did was set some boundaries. We'll go through this quitting thing together one more time, but we won't make it through another relapse.
It was a long, calm conversation...with the exception of a few ugly words thrown in by yours truly...I just don't know if it was the right conversation. I have no faith in his ability to quit.
And now I feel almost guilty writing this. I was so sure I was over it and was kicking him to the curb. Am I falling for something?
I'm glad he stayed, though. My son had diareah for 2 days, so I got up yesterday to go get him some medicine and gatorade...then pothead remembered that my little angel had drank from a nasty puddle last week and told me to take him to the doctor. Turns out he may have Giardiasis...ooops. I had totally forgotten about the puddle. It's not a lesson I ever really thought I needed to teach him. I never imagined him wanting to drink from a puddle, but as he said, "You try to eat some flamin hot cheetos with no water and see if you can resist a puddle!" Kids. I am thankful that he was here and remembered the puddle water. I would have tried to mask the symptoms with Immodium and let it get worse.