jehnifer

My RAH is in a bad place - and seems to be there the majority of the time -he feels miserable about his life, unhappy about his family situation (his daughters live with their mom), job, the weather, everything. A lot of the times he takes it out on me either directly or indirectly with fault finding, moodiness, silent treatments. I dont often inititate discussions anymore because somehow he turns on me. So I try to leave it up to him to talk to me when he's ready. He is so negative about everything though and it gets very tiresome to listen to it over and over again.

He says there is no one at the AA meeting he can identify with and that the meetings dont help him, and he has a sponsor from several years ago, but I dont think is in touch with him. He did make an appt with a therapist for April.

I am listening to my sponsor and doing what she tells me to do...be understanding and compassionate but know that you cannot be the solution or bring the solution to him. I told him that I have confidence that he will find his way out of this and I tell him what "I" do when I feel down. But that's all I can do. I am soooo WORN DOWN! I feel guilty for feeling better than him and being relatively happy. I want to avoid him so that I wont get drawn in to his unhappiness or bad moods, yet feel pity as if I am abandoning him if I go off and do my own thing. I know that when he gets in enough pain he will do something to help himself. But how much longer can it go on? And what do I do in the meantime? Stay away from him?