Silent Song..you are so right about the perspective. With PTSD our horizon is one of pain and dark despair. We cannot grasp the sun will rise..and hell we dread the sun rising when it's really bad..another day to bear, another day of existing and struggling, that's where the perspective comes in. To be able to see beyond the horizon. That whole thing of either you can wait to see it to believe it..or you can BELIEVE it...then you shall see it. So difficult. It's much like preparing for a marathon, the marathon of life. The agony and pain spurs us to sprint and run as fast as we can toward anything that will comfort us or make us feel anything but what we are feeling in that moment. Reprogramming our attitrudes and thought processes is more exhausting than running around the world a dozen times.....we probably have with our worry marathons..LOL! I keep reminding myself it is a process. There is not so much a destination, as there is a peace to be found in the moments of the journey, learning to see the beauty in a flowering tree on a walk, hearing a child laugh and not aching inside wishing for our innocence to be returned all new..and untouched by the cruelties of trauma and loss and grief. Learning to love and be vulnerable so that our hearts may feel warmth again takes so much courage. But journey on we must. The journey is the whole point of our life experience, once at our "destination" death awaits to take us to our next "evolution, if you will. Seems so complicated, yet so very simple too. My biggest issue is overthinking and analyzing, I always tell my husband I should have gone into Navy intel or something, spend my time analyzing data and contingencies that might make a difference...LOL..
Well, I hope you are doing alright Silent Song. Ya know your screen name makes me think that inside you hasve so much to share either in art or whatever talent and gift you have , yet this PTSD has silenced your creative life energy. I pray you find relief...and freedom, so that you may enjoy all that your life holds for you. God Bless you my friend. You are in my prayers. hang in there, okay? **hugs**
