Oh Chip, sweetie... I can so relate. RUN!!!! You are so worth it and you need to trust your gut. It is sooo sad, hurts like crazy, but you are right, roller coasters are continuous loops! It has been 28 long years for me. I too am an intelligent, loving person and Mom, but just couldn't seem to realize it was never going to work because of his mistress (he too loves Mary Jane). Seek friends, seek al-anon, seek counseling, read the book Co-Dependent No More. It is powerful. Keep coming back here, we are here for you. Have a good day... kind thoughts and hugs to you.