I am so glad I found this site! You are all so helpful. I have been reading posts and stickies and steps all morning...while crying my swollen little eyes out. I realize that I can't keep doing this. I won't give him an ultimatum, I won't ask him to quit for me. I will simply tell him the things I told you all and the things you told me back. I will muster every ounce of courage I can to let him go. Yet, even as I typed that, my brain is saying...but, we have circus tickets for the last weekend of the month. Maybe I should hang in there just until we get through that....or maybe this will happen or that might happen or....I've just gotta stop it. He's a big boy and can take care of himself. I have to do the same. I have let myself cry today for the first time in a long time...I have a nasty headache, my eyes hurt, I look like crap, and can't breathe through my nose. But I have to do this. I can't change him and I can't rescue him. Please pray that I will have the strength to go through with it.