Thread: Is this sound thinking?
View Single Post
Old 03-16-2008, 06:54 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
serenityqueen
Attitude of Gratitude
 
serenityqueen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
I have never known anyone who has not struggled at one time or another in their Recovery.

Before I became "Serenity Queen" I was the Queen of Relapse. That name was literally given to me by a nurse at the hospital where I kept going to detox, time after time after time after time. . .

You are not the only one who drank after meetings. I would stop and buy a bottle immediately after I left the meeting. The liquor store was not even a mile away. I sat in meetings determined to stay clean through the rest of the day and wham, I'd walk out the door and the urge to use was so strong!

I think God is sending you a message through your disability. Face it, right now, you ARE disabled, by your disease. I would thank God for this opportunity to have time away from work, (sounds like you are getting paid while on disability) and take the opportunity to jump head on into your Recovery. If you can get into an inpatient facility, that sounds like a wonderful idea. I'm sure you could find someone from AA you trust who your dog knows that could feed him while you were in detox or inpatient. Then you could follow up with intensive outpatient. There are many options available to you right now. Again, when I read your post, the very first thing that came to mind is that God has given you a wonderful opportunity to keep your home, your beloved dog and devote every minute of every day to your Recovery.Very few people have that opportunity so I would count that as another Blessing from God.

As far as the Sponsor thing, I feel this is God's way of telling you that this particular sponsor isn't the right one for you at this point in your Recovery. There are many great people out there who I'm sure would feel honored to have you ask them to be your Sponsor.

You are not alone in this struggle. Please don't ever forget that. We are here for you.

God Bless & Thank God . . . Just for Today,
Judy
serenityqueen is offline  
Reply