Originally Posted by
Ann 
Yes, going through the sad part of grieving the child we feel we have lost is painful, it may very well have been part of the darkest part of my life, but I have learned not to hang out in the sadness long, it's a dead end street that takes us no place good.
Prayer helps me cope, giving God what I cannot handle and asking release from the fear and then living in faith that He has it all covered allows me to live a good life filled with beauty and peace.
I like what BigSis said about hope. I have seen the worst case addict, the one you would never bet on to ever find recovery, get well and stay well and live a good life. I think God has shown me these special people so I know that there is always hope, even for the most hopeless. Hope, not expectations, but Hope is a little candle in my heart right next to faith and love.
Ann, this is beautiful, thank you....
I have shared parts of my story with my AD, but I have not spoken much about the biggest part of the story, and I guess I wanted to share the practical aspects.
In the darkest time, I shed months of tears over a four year period...I kept giving it to God, because I knew that was my only source of help and comfort and I looked to God for understanding...Every step along the way, I was comforted and inspired and led by the hand and my faith was deepened in a profound way
God healed my child of cancer...inspite of the huge odds against her.I know she is not mine but his and I have to bend to his will and his plan for her...and he is the last word...I believe this with all my heart...
I have hope until she draws her last breath that his plan for her is to have a life of health and but if it is his plan that she lose this battle then I will deal with that when the time comes... but for me it is not over til the fat lady sings....just as with her cancers (Lymphoma,Leukaemia), there is a bigger plan, a bigger picture...that I choose to focus on, not what I see in front of me when I see my child....
yes, this is where she is now....where will she be in 6 months? I do not know ...that is for her and God to decide...In the years that she was sick.....from day to day, week to week, the rollercoaster ride of blood counts up and down...the constant fear of what the tests will show, relapse? the bruising that appears one day...relapse? Do you know that this child did not have any platelet transfusions in all the time she was sick and she had ITP(platelet disease)
As I look back on it, she walked through all those years of treatment and not one relapse....and this kid was carried into the ER on that fateful first day without a clotting time and a white count of 300,000........there was a bigger plan...
How I deal with how her life affects me is my burden and my responsibility...........what I cannot bear I just hand over....I know that God will bring me what it is I need in that moment.
when I had journeyed long and hard and when I was finally ready to let go, God lead me to SR.....this is such an organic process , constant flux of emotions, I could not imagine going through her cancer or her addictions without God 's guidance and comfort...just couldn't....
Marle and Sleepy, my love and prayers to you both....