I just want to welcome you, Intentional, and hope you will find support and a wonderful group of people here who understand where you are because we've all been there one way or another.
What helped me most in dealing with my son's addiction was to go to meetings and begin working a terrific program of 12 Steps that gave me my life back. Maybe see if there are any meetings near you, Alanon, Naranon or CoDA are three similar fellowships that are not about the substance or them but about taking care of ourselves and surrounding ourselves with support.
Today I live life well, in peace and seeing the beauty in each day and with a spiritual connection that sees me through the dark days of despair...even though my son is still lost in his addiction and I haven't seen or heard from him for over 3 years. I begin each day with a prayer, giving my son to God, and then I live my days in faith that God will take care of him. My son knows he is loved and that gives me peace because I cannot do anything more than keep the candle of hope lit in my heart.
I am glad you are walking with us on our journey of recovery. It's no longer a lonely journey filled with fear but an experience of love and faith and fellowship that is second to none.
Hugs