Talking to extended family
Both my parents drank quite a lot, and still do. I think my father used to be the bigger drinker, but the weight may have shifted to my mother. They were after-5pm drinkers who got in verbally abusive fights and nearly tore the house down. (I think it's bleeding into earlier parts of the day, now). I used to inject myself in the middle to mediate. I live in a different state now.
I recently started talking about this stuff to my half-sister (father's daughter from 1st marriage) who is 16 years older than me. We have always been in touch, but I hadn't wanted to mention this stuff. When I started to talk about it (via email), the very next time the caller ID on my cell phone said my mother was calling, my very first thought was "oh ****, she knows, and I'm in trouble." Which of course wasn't true. But I hate that this is my automatic reaction.
Next week, I am going to visit my Aunt and Uncle. My aunt is my mother's sister. We used to visit them once a year, and vice versa. I suspect they always saw the trouble. A couple years ago, they started staying in a hotel instead of at my parents' house. This year, they didn't come at all, citing other family obligations. My Aunt and Uncle have always been generous and loving to me and my 2 younger brothers. They even took us each on a week long vacation to Mexico, separately.
I am trying to figure out how much, and what to tell them about my recovery. The last time I told my Aunt about a problem I was having which was only very indirectly related to my Mother, my Mother called to yell at me (I was in extreme physical pain and alone at the time, but comforting me was the last thing on her mind). Also, the last time I wondered aloud about asking my Aunt for help with my taxes (she used to be an accountant) my Dad yelled at me for not being smart enough to do it myself.
It will be a very long week if I spend it holding everything back. But I also don't want to do it in a way that blames my parents or asks my aunt and uncle to side with/pity me. I imagine the first sentence will be the hardest part.
Any E - S - H ?