I'm sorry you are hurting! It sounds like you are banging your head against a brick wall and really, there is no point to it. My advice is to step away from the addict. Let him finish up with his treatment - brainwashing or not - it could save his life. Let him work his own recovery. You can work yours. Focus on your own life and getting over him. I know that it is hard not to have closure, but for now, maybe it is best to write all your feelings down, burn the paper and then let go. As far as his stuff, send it to his father if you are worried about it.