I apologize for the pitiful rantings I have written, but I feel as though I am freefalling through an emotional hell. I try so damned hard to be positive and act "normal' whatever that is. I have to vent all these feelings or I feel I will explode.
I have felt that way many times... In the center of the storm so to speak. Very difficult to overcome from a too limited view. The problem... may simply be a matter of perspective and changing the horizon -- to go above and beyond yourself in some way. You've probably done it in a limited sense... like you are racing in a sprint but this is a marathon.