John - You are doing such a good job with such a difficult situation. I know you know this but the main thing you need to focus on is staying sober and staying alive. My therapist, when I asked what I was suppossed to be doing, one time said, "Breath. You are suppossed to keep taking air in and letting air out." Make that your mission. And pray pray pray. You know this stuff. You told us yourself in your post. Let your wife go. Divorce is so painful. So breath through it and let her go. I'm sorry you're in pain. But do not let the pain of her leaving eclipse the work of staying sober and staying alive. I am rooting for you and I have a feeling you can do this. Breath. Pray.