tib
we all work through these feelings, of shame, remorse, guilt and ick. thats what it means to "recover". Not drinking is merely abstaining. growing is actually what happens after we put the drink dowen and get to work. Into action...we are recovering, or reclaiming, our true selves from the darkness of the disease. bringing our selves into the sunlight of the spirit.
How did I do it? through the spiritual principles of the ages as outlined in the 12 steps of AA. These include honesty, acceptance, surrender, service, I feel are very essential ones.
Honesty, for me includes gaining a balanced perspective on my role in past events and circumstances. Shame is replaced by willingness to make a course correction from this point forward, to make living amends in all areas of life.
Acceptance for me includes accepting the past as the past. Accepting that I did the best I could and vowing to do better. Moving onward into brighter days.
Surrender for me involves turning my will and my life to the care of god. This has become the daily rhythm of my life. No shame no mo.
It will get better Tiburon, you are in the process of recovery and healing. And I'm glad you are here with us!