tStorm,
I recently went through a lot of the same stuff with my axgf. I responded a lot too, it dragged the breakup out over 3 months. It's tough, because you do want them to know you care.
Somebody told me to step back, and listen to my heart, which (of course at that time) told me to respond, to try to help, so I did, but while doing that, started to realize that I did have to let go as well, had to push her away, but in pushing away, I always tried to coax her into getting help, she is a therapist herself (scary huh?)and did seek help, and is still in treatment, and has improved tremendously, but still has a LONG way to go -- we'll never be together again.
It's hard, but it happens, otherwise, none of us would be here! So take it one day at a time, and keep asking for help when you feel like you need it, you'll get there!