duet_4-8

Sorry this is long......I haven't posted for awhile but I do check in and read most every day. I have been so incredibly busy trying to fix up two homes and pack up 23 years worth of living, but I love you guys!

Well, I'm heading into court on Monday morning. It's been a little over a year since I filed and since he moved out.....with the help of the local sheriff's office. I tried to do this in mediation-once-and quickly learned what a waste of time that is. State mandates that it is tried once, though.

Issues in question include making the parenting plan permanent (he has very little supervised visitation and was ordered into therapy for even that), back child support (he has paid me 1575.00 in twelve months), payment of debts (yes I used the credit cards because he wasn't paying support but I have receipts for everything), and division of household goods (he basically wants it all).

I did come away with several signed orders from mediation, most of which were his ideas (done, I believe, as attempts to manipulate me which did not have the desired effect) and which now he is trying to 'undo'. Mainly this concerns the sale of our home, which he consistantly said he wanted (because, after all, it is HIS and HE built it and HE should get to keep it regardless of the 26-year marriage that produced three children.....). So, I gave it up in mediation, having decided it wasn't worth the fight even though our youngest child is only eleven. The mediator looked at the appraisal, the mortgage, did the math and came up with the equity, and presented my exh with the dollar amount he would have to pay me to keep it. He said "sell it" and signed the paper to do just that.

I have worked myself to the point of exhaustion in the last 6 weeks painting and fixing up this 2800 sq ft home, and the 4.58 acre lot, to list it; to try to get the very best price we can for it. There were TONS of little things he had left undone over the years. He was famous for starting projects that he never finished. I did every square inch of the painting by myself, my sons did what they could, and I hired a contractor to fix the things we did not know how to fix. He, of course, doesn't want to help pay these expenses because he 'could do all that' himself. Oh, and he would have bought it 'as is' (for less than half of my portion of the equity amount).

He purchased a 2007 Camry and a 2007 Tundra at a combined cost of almost 55K during the past year. Both are paid for. He is living with mama so he has virtually no bills, is operating a business without a license and without reporting income to the IRS (because, of course, if he reports his actual income then the child support that is based on 'imputed income' would no doubt go up). He claims to have earned a whopping 3252.00 since the seperation.

I have not asked for a dime of spousal support, just child support for the eleven year old. We have one son who is a sophomore in college that he is not legally required to do anything at all for, which stinks!

I found out yesterday that he is going to assert that some money I took out of our safe deposit box in July of 2006 should be credited as back child support (we did not seperate until March of 2007). There was 18000.00 in the box. I took 9000.00, exactly half. He is trying to say that he should get credit for 4500.00 towards the child support.

I have an excellent lawyer who is familiar with addiction, and I have piles of documentation regarding the financial matters that are yet to be resolved and are the reason for the court date. My two adult sons are going with me as witnesses to the abuse, drugs, and insanity of their dad because of course he is denying all of it.

All in all, I have a very strong case. He has little or no documentation for any of his positions. He thinks that just because he says something-that it is true and the court will see it that way.

So why am I having panic attacks at the mere thought of sitting in a courtroom with him? Are the documents that were agreed upon in mediation, and subsequently filed to the court and signed by the judge, subject to change now? Do courts tend to look at documentation vs no documentation when making decisions?

Any encouragement is appreciated....