((Colleen))
Big Hugs to you - what painful experiences those must have been - hate so much that you had to go thru that.
What you are describing is one of the main reasons I am reluctant to go - Like so many of us - I ABSOLUTELY HATE to cry in public - it is a huge trigger for me and makes me feel so unsafe. the majority of my crying is done in my vehicle alone or at my f2f meeting. I am afraid that sitting in that courtroom would just be too much.
I am beginning to believe I am NOT suppose to do it. Like the ODAT in Al-Anon book pg 131 says (and I'm putting it in my own words) we will find out what we need to know when we need to know it - usually without any action on our part.
Thanks once again for letting me "talk" it out - always helps get it out of "Ritaville" and apply the tools of my program to allow my HP to guide me in healthy decisions.